May 23, 2012

Dear Alaska Air...

I saw this little rant on Andrew Halcro's blog and thought it was worth reposting.

"Dear Alaska Airlines,

As a loyal customer for my entire travel life, it's hard even today to ignore the pre-boarding ritual of the military-esq instructions regarding the carry on policy. Two bags maximum, one personal item under your seat and one small carry on that must fit "conveniently" in the overhead compartment. Any violators will be gate-checked to Des Moines.

It's a great rule for light travelers like me who like to get what they need then stash their briefcase above their head. The problem is there is never any room because flight attendants never seem to enforce their own edicts. For heaven's sake, I can't fit a briefcase in the overhead bin but if I had a tuba I'd be golden?

Just minutes after issuing the age old guidelines regarding carry-on etiquette, some merry traveler comes rumbling down the aisle with a Louis Vuitton steamer trunk in tow. They move with glacial pace, use the entire width of the aisle and then some, fracturing elbows along the way as they try and find their seats.

But that's just the beginning.

At row nine I witness a passenger trying to stuff a backpack the size of Fiat 500 into the overhead bin. At row fifteen someone is trying to shove a kayak into an already packed compartment. It's overhead anarchy at 30,000 feet.

Where in the world were the uniformed enforcers of their own clearly articulated airline carry-on policy? Where were the captains of the sky keeping Jed Clampet and family from loading up the 737-400 and moving to Anc...Anchorage that is?

In closing my beloved airline, if you're going to lay down the rules about your carry on policy, please enforce them.

The next time some rube tries to roll a footlocker down the aisle, drop 'em like a bad habit with a taser gun, then gate check their bag to Des Moines.

Time to show these overhead compartment interlopers that size limitations must be followed. Time to teach a little r-e-s-p-e-c-t for the shared space concept. Time to dispense a little tough love to travelers who think size doesn't matter.

Plus, I'm tired of my Smarties being smashed.

In the words of Leslie Nielson, "Just to let you know we're all counting on you, and don't call me Shirley.""

I'd post the link to Andrew's blog and put his words in italics but I'm doing this from my phone and it's a little awkward.

1 comment:

tbbotts said...

Thanks for sharing Todd. Having just recently returned from a trip to the lower 48, I understand perfectly what Andrew was saying. When did the rules only apply to those willing to comply with them? It's the same with the laws governing the fish and wildlife of the state- there is no shortage of folks who feel like size limits, numbers of fish caught,or even having a license applies to them. As a society I can't help but feel like we are on the verge of anarchy. It may seem small to not follow the overhead bin size restrictions or fish and game regs but its kind of like the old frog in the water. If you increase the heat slowly, he won't notice until he's dead. When we were living at Game Creek an idividual remarked about cheating the government on some tax revenue, and an audience member said-if you'll cheat the government, you'll cheat me. Truer words were never spoken.