Top Ten Signs Your Pastoral Church Job Search Is Not Going Well

Top Ten Signs Your Pastoral Church Job Search Is Not Going Well

10. Average time between sending in application and receiving rejection notice: 5-7 minutes.

9. On eight different job search websites there’s a picture of you with the caption “Don’t bother applying.”

8. You keep getting responses rejecting you for the position but encouraging you to apply for “Pastor of Folding Bulletins.”

7. Every opening you see needs a minimum of 25 years experience at a church of at least 10,000 members.

6. You find out that the "salary package + health benefits" for your "perfect job" consist of "Love Offerings" and some Band-Aids.

5. The search committee asks if you'd be willing to accept a salary cut in order to pay for their tickets to see the local NASCAR race.

4. One position involves you signing an affidavit insisting that you've "never struggled with worry, doubt, confusion or disagreeing with your spouse.?

3. When you call to follow up on your resume, the church secretary hangs up on you. After swearing at you.

2. You and your family might be able to make the salary package work if the government repeals the child labor laws.

1. The head elder says "We’ll pitch the parsonage for you as soon as we can find some stakes."